Loss of Innocence
It was a hot day as the wind blew through the car window blowing the little girl’s blonde hair around her face. Her little fingers pushed the buttons on the car radio. She was so excited to hear the music that was playing. Her little brother, shy and quiet sat beside her as she pushed the buttons to hear more music. The lady from the agency just smiled and said for her to stop pushing the but
I wish I could tell you that the girl grew up and that all was perfect, but that would not happen. Yes, there were good times for the little girl but when her loss of innocence started and continued to occur, those memories would become very dim for her and everything would not be all right. For the little girl’s dream of a happy new home with a mommy and daddy that would love her and protect her was just the start of many years of mixed emotions, heartbreak, confusion, bitterness and betrayal.
Do you have these types of memories? Has someone hurt you or betrayed your trust? Maybe it was a cousin, a brother, an uncle, a baby-sitter, a date rape, or a church member. Did your father or mother hurt you or hurt someone you loved? These are memories that no one should have nor should these types of hurts have ever been done to you or me. I want you to know that. The question is... can you live a happy life after abuse? The answer is “YES”. I want you to know that also. When I was little, I was taken to church where I learned about God and Jesus. When I was seven I asked God to come into my heart. He became my best friend.
In the years to come, in the darkness of night when my father came to me in my room, I would pretend to be asleep but it was then I would talk to Jesus. As you know, most of our abuse is kept secret for many reasons, whether it is to protect the ones we love, afraid no one would believe us anyway, or maybe we were/are to ashamed to talk about it. Most of the time there is just no one to talk to about this type of abuse. Let me say that God was there for me and he can be there for you if you will let Him into your heart.
You will have questions like me as to why did this happen to me or what did I ever do for this to happen to me. Or if you are God, then why didn’t you protect me? Even though I had given my heart to Jesus, I still had these feelings. Every kind of emotion, hate, fear, resentment, confusion that is possible can be in our hearts and minds. But I want you to know that our God is such a loving God that He didn’t make us robots, but people with minds that make our own choices in life whether they be wrong or right. There is nothing fair or right about the abuse any of us have suffered, but we must go on in life. God gave you and me life for a reason, a purpose. Only in trusting that God does have a plan helps us to survive sexual abuse or any type of abuse. Although not easy I found freedom from the nightmare of abuse and the loss of my innocence through Jesus Christ. You can to, by laying your hurts at the feet of Jesus, and leaving them there. You can walk away with hope and a promise of regaining your innocence through your faith in Jesus Christ. You can look toward a wonderful life and future with joy and peace.
Please know that this is a story of just one abused person with a desire to let others know that they also can find freedom from an abused past. There can be healing and freedom from nightmares of the past and a hope for a happy future. Taking the steps to find this freedom was not an easy one, but it was needed to find peace in my soul. God bless you in your search for a new future with peace and freedom through Jesus Christ our Lord.
There are resources and people that can be of help to you. Please visit the Links and Reference page for more information.
In Christ Love,
Barbara Nunn
Joe and Barbara have been married for 33 years and have 3 children and 3 grandchildren. You can reach her by using the Contact Us page of this website.
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